Across many cultures, success is often measured based on conventional beliefs on school achievements, wealth and fame. A child who is consistently on the dean's list is frequently praised and favored by the parents. Moreover, when a child becomes distinguished in one's career while living a prestigious lifestyle is often the pride of many parents.
What about children who become a master teacher, a lead guitar player or master carpenter? Can they be considered successful too? Dr. Markham (2015) strongly believes that these children will be successful only if parents support them to achieve their personal goals. In empowering their children to discover a deeper meaning in life, it is inevitable that they will face hurdles along the way. It does not matter whether they succeed or fail while learning, practicing, and mastering a particular task or idea. What has a profound impact while growing up is the entire process of how children achieve their goals, especially the pain and sufferings they experience, that serves to strengthen their emotional intelligence.
Part of discovering a deeper meaning in life, according to Dr. Markham (2015), is building a harmonious relationship with your child. Invest 'special time' (Markham, 2015) through simple outdoor adventures, eat meals or read books together will create a more significant emotional impact on your child. Such actions will mark lifelong memories to cherish as opposed to rewarding them with the latest gadget or granting money, which only provide temporary happiness.
How about you? How do you define success in life?
When adults seek help for their child’s challenges, it does not mean they are incompetent parents. The child may just require extra support in the areas of building self-esteem, being resilient, making good decisions, sustaining harmonious relationships or regulating emotions that are beyond one's parenting ability.
At Fundamentals we collaborate with parents to advance every step of their child's emotional state. Book a free consultation with us today.
Markham, L. (2015). Calm Parents, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life. London, UK: Vermilion.